Mystery Mail
by jlm110108
Summary: Fun oneshot. Charlie receives an email from a mystery woman, summoning him to a meeting.


Charlie Eppes opened his laptop and quickly checked his email. Even though it was Saturday night, his students had a habit of sending him urgent emails at any hour, day or night. After answering six urgent requests for help and deleting two spams, he saw a message from an unfamiliar email address, a. The subject line said "Meeting tomorrow." There were no attachments, so he felt safe in opening the email.

Dr. Eppes:

I know this is short notice, but please meet me in the faculty lounge tomorrow at noon for an important meeting.

Thanks,

Avril Sciocco

Dept of Modern Languages

Charlie had never heard of Avril Sciocco, but then again, he had little or no contact with the modern languages department. In fact, he hadn't even realized that Cal Sci had a modern languages department. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Amita's number.

"Hi, Charlie," Amita said. Charlie could hear a smile in her voice. "What's it been? Fifteen minutes?"

Charlie said. "I missed you already."

"That's sweet, but really, why'd you call?"

"Did you get an email from Avril... I wonder if it's pronounced 'shocko' or 'skee-oh-ko.' Anyway, did you get an email about a meeting tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I did. Do you have any idea who she is, or what it's about?"

"No idea. I was hoping you'd know."

"You planning on going?"

"Why not? How about I pick you up and we go there together?"

"Sounds good to me. I wonder if Millie knows what it's about."

"I'll try calling her."

"Let me know what you find out, okay?"

Charlie dialed Millie's number, realizing too late that she was probably on a date with his dad. She answered on the fourth ring. "Professor Eppes! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call so late on a Saturday night?"

Charlie could hear Alan's voice muttering in the background, and he caught himself blushing. "Uh, is this a bad time?"

"No. Not at all. Your dad and I were just having a late snack. What can I do for you?"

"Amita and I just got emails from a professor Avril Sciocco. I've never heard of her, and neither has Amita."

"Well, my friend, she has clearly heard of you. And Dr. Ramanujan. I hope you're planning on attending her meeting tomorrow."

"So you know her?"

"Quite well, as a matter of fact. She is so sorry to call this meeting with such short notice, but she insists that it's important. You will be attending, right?"

"Uh, yes. Amita and I will be there."

"Good. Now let me get back to my snack," Millie said, giggling.

Charlie shuddered as he closed the cell phone. The thought of Millie and his father together for a "snack" sent chills up his spine. He called Amita and told her about the conversation. He decided to call Larry, who was staying at Megan's house while she was out of town, and see if he had been invited to this mystery meeting.

The phone rang several times and then the answering machine picked up. Of course, Larry wouldn't answer the phone in someone else's house. "Larry!" he yelled. "Larry! If you're there, pick up. It's me, Ch..."

There was a clicking sound and Larry's voice came through. "Charles! Hello!"

"Larry, did you get an email about a meeting tomorrow?"

Larry laughed. "Oh, yes, Charles! And what a delightful joke it was."

"Joke? What joke?"

Larry tsked. "Charles, Charles, your education is terribly unbalanced. Avril Sciocco signed herself as a member of the modern languages faculty, correct?"

"Correct."

"There is no Avril Sciocco at Cal Sci, either as a student or a faculty member."

"But Millie said..."

"Oh! Oh, so that is the source of this most wonderful prank. Of course, Millie would be involved."

"Larry, what on earth are you talking about? What prank?"

"Charles, Avril is French for April."

"I knew that much."

"And Sciocco is Italian for fool. This meeting is a prank. But until you called, I had no idea who was behind it."

Sunday, April 1, 2007, at 11:15 a.m., Dr. Mildred Finch approached the faculty lounge to put the final touches on her prank. There was a note taped to the door, in Charlie's distinctive scrawl. It chilled her heart. "Avril, I'm afraid we won't be able to make your meeting. We are just on the way home from taking my father to the emergency room." It was signed, "Professor Charles Eppes."

Millie ran to her car, panic rising in her throat, and tears threatening to fall. "Alan. Oh my God," she whispered. She was grateful that there was so little traffic on a Sunday morning, and so few policemen available to hand out speeding tickets. She pulled into the driveway at Charlie's house and ran to the front door. She knocked once and pushed the door open.

"Surprise!" Alan, Charlie, Amita and Larry shouted as she burst into the room "

Charlie stepped forward, grinning. "Avril Sciocco, I presume? How nice to meet you!"

Millie pushed past him and wrapped Alan in a huge bear hug. "Alan! Are you all right?"

"Yes, Millie, I am. I hope we didn't give you too much of a scare. But these three were so anxious to get back at you for your little joke."

Millie turned and scowled at the three cowering professors. "Don't worry, Alan. They may have gotten even, but I am their boss, and I WILL get ahead. One day, when they least expect it, I will repay them for the years they've taken off my life."

"Oh, Mildred," Larry said, wagging his finger at her, "don't you remember the April Fool's superstitions? Pranks may only be played before noon, or the perpetrator will suffer ill effects. And, even more appropriate to your situation, the victim of the prank must accept the prank with good humor or fall victim to bad luck. Now, I for one, do not believe in luck, good or bad. But are you really prepared to tempt fate?"

Millie sighed as she looked at Alan. "You are okay, right?" When he nodded, she continued. "All right, Larry. You have made a good point. In the spirit of the day, I will accept your prank with equanimity. However, the three ... no! ... the four of you had better be ready next year. Some time before noon, a year from today, your lives will be turned upside down. Now, I suggest we find a good place for brunch."

Alan laughed. "I suggest Chez Eppes. Charlie makes a mean omelet, and I have been known to produce some scones that will melt in your mouth. How's that sound, Avril?"

"It sounds wonderful. But Avril has officially retired. Just call me Millie."


End file.
